Friday, June 22, 2012

Working Angst

I'm thinking about going back to work.  As in a job, outside of the house, making money, etc...

The problem is I don't know how to go back to work.  I've had two (paying) jobs in my life and I can't say that either were life affirming or even these days would pay the bills.

My first job was as a cashier at Publix. And while I enjoyed that job because it wasn't demanding and I could take vacation whenever I wanted, it doesn't really pay a lot of money.  I can't imagine how I would support two (soon to be three kids) on minimum wage. I worked at Publix for 7 years and became office staff which meant that I counted money and tried to make sure that none of disappeared.  Even if I went back at that level, I still wouldn't make enough money to live on. 

My second job was teaching high school in Clayton County public schools.  I loved parts of that job.I loved working with (most) high school students. I loved the subject matter.  I loved the vacation schedule.  However, these days with cut backs and other things, I don't know if I can teach again.  And that is the only thing I know how to "do".  And yes, it would pay the bills and while there wouldn't be much money until the youngest went to school himself, it would be enough to eat ramen and peanut butter several times a month.

I've also been out of the work force for the past 4 years.  Some of it by choice, some of it by the recession and schools not hiring teachers.  So yeah, even if I had a "in demand" skill, I don't know how to go back to work. 

I suppose I should seek some kind of advice?

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Lion Cut

Six years, my husband and I acquired a beautiful fluffy orange kitten who grew into a beautiful fluffy orange cat.  The poor thing was found on the football field of the high school where I was teaching.

Here she is in all of her fluffy glory:

I know, she looks pissed.  It is her normal look when you take her picture.

When she became a cat rather than a kitten, my husband and I always said that she needed to get a lion cut during the summer.  One because cats with any kind of grooming look so silly/awesome.  Two because summers here are very hot and humid. And a thick fluffy fur coat just seems cruel to an animal that likes to be outside.

Although, I don't post to blog very often about the experiments I do, I do actually do some of them.  And this was probably one of the ones I have been looking forward to the most.  The orange fluffy cat finally got a lion cut.

(Ignore the mail and the weird stomach thing)

Sunday, May 27, 2012

An update

As you can see, I haven't really been updating.  Don't feel neglected.  I pretty much start blogs and never post to them.

I never can find my voice.  I read so many amazing writers and then I feel that I can't measure up to them or that my voice is stupid and boring.  These are issues I have in real life too.  I have ideas about what I want to do and then fear of rejection or fear of change or just fear keeps me from doing things.  Even "stupid" things like blogging or changing my hair style.  Or just stepping out of my comfort zone. 

Maybe one day I'll really do this and it will great.  Or at least therapeutic.

One day.

Friday, March 30, 2012


I think I'm going to try this again. 

I have so much I want to say, write, post, share, and create.  But I never find the time, or feel that my contribution would add to the internet.  And I can't find my voice.